Oh my! Before I get to my favorite scene from Episode 303, All Debts Paid, I just gotta say…did we have some big surprises in this episode or what? Biggest for me – Murtagh is alive!
At least he is for the time being anyway. I can’t wait to see what they do with his character going forward! Second surprise, Frank DID cheat – as the series writers saw it – and that’s the way I had always interpreted it in the book – right or wrong. I know Diana is still leaving that somewhat up in the air and she can do that…she wrote the books!
Another big surprise for me, and maybe not so much for you, was how much I really liked Lord John Grey. I know a lot of people love his character in the books; however, he just hasn’t been one of my favorites and I didn’t expect to like him in the show. I’m very protective when it comes to Claire and Jamie’s relationship and anyone who might want to tinker with that is not high on my list. However, I have to say that David Berry brought a real compassion and loveability to Lord John that I failed to see in the books.
In large part due to Berry’s interpretation and portrayal of his character, I see more clearly that Lord John is a man of compassion, integrity and honor. He is someone I can see Jamie really coming to like and even admire as a soldier, a man and a friend. Actually, they have a lot of attributes in common. I love the books but sometimes the show helps me to see things from a different perspective and I love that! I can read the books and be perfectly happy and I can watch the show and be perfectly happy but I thought this episode was a wonderful compliment to the book and vice versa. Speaking of this episode and before I ramble on any further, I have to get on with my favorite scene of Episode 303, All Debts Paid. But before I give it away, I want to let you know that my pick for this episode is very personal and something I’d like to share with you from my heart.
My oldest sister has suffered from Alzheimer’s for about 15 years and has been in a nursing home for about the last ten of those. This past Monday morning at 2 a.m., she passed peacefully away in her sleep. It’s been a very rough week for my other sister and me as we have dealt with her passing and all that goes along with it – notifying relatives, going to the funeral home to discuss and decide on arrangements, picking out her final clothing ensemble, talking to the florist, meeting with the minister to discuss the service, and then the funeral service itself. But the hardest thing was the first viewing of her body at the funeral home. It took my breath away. There she was lying in the coffin, looking more beautiful and alive in death than she had looked in her final years of life. All the suffering was gone from her face. The struggle was over. When I looked at her, I saw the sister I had known since infancy, since early childhood and beyond, who had in many ways been a mother figure to me because she was 22 years my senior. There she was – the person I remembered. Not the shell of the person she had become at the hands of a savage disease.
When Claire walked into the morgue to see Frank for the first time after his accident and resulting death, she saw the Frank she had known and loved when they had married.
Her first love, as she put it. She didn’t see the man who thought she had lost her mind twenty years before or the man who resented her undying love for Jamie or the man who cheated on her (or didn’t?) nor did she see the man who had threatened to take Brianna away from her.
No, when Claire looked at Frank on that table, she saw the man she had met, loved and married. The struggle for Frank was over. The torment he had endured and the betrayal and bitterness he had felt ever since Claire had come back to him twenty years before was no more. And, there he was – the person Claire remembered.
One last comparison and the most important one, if you will allow me. When I stood by my sister’s coffin looking at her, I thought about the things I wish I had been able to do for and say to her before she died. I wish I had visited her on Saturday as I had first planned instead of waiting until Monday morning when it was six hours too late. I wish I had been able to tell her one more time that I loved her and say it repeatedly until she came out of the dark abyss to say it back to me as was the routine between us when I visited her. But regrets and good intentions cannot undo what has not been done.
It was the same for Claire. Things put off or left undone. Words of love left unspoken. We know that Frank could never replace Jamie as Claire’s true love but Frank was her first love and she did love him very much. She didn’t speak those words to him after her return through the stones and when she saw him lying there, more peaceful in death than in life, she knew too late the things she might have spoken and the things she could have, and perhaps might have done differently. Claire then speaks the words of love to Frank if he is close enough to hear which she wished she had spoken before but was too late.
As Claire walks out the door, she starts a new chapter of her life without Frank.
I, too, now start a new chapter without my sister. Like Claire, I don’t know what that next chapter holds but I do know that it will be filled with more words and actions of love. I will not wait or put off or make excuses because life can change in a heartbeat and in a heartbeat it can be too late.
What was your favorite scene of Episode 303, All Debts Paid? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below! In the meantime, Dear Readers, I want you to know how much I love and appreciate each and every one of you! Now, do me and yourself a favor, go tell someone you love them! You may not get another chance!
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Oh, Beth, I am so sorry about your sister. Thank you for reminding us how precious life is and to embrace it and those we love.
Like you, until this episode I was not a huge LJG fan for the very reasons you gave. But David Berry’s portrayal certainly makes me give him a chance. I’m such a visual person.
I also rejoiced when I heard that familiar Murtagh voice. I love this character.
My favorite scene is Jamie and LJG’s encounter after Jamie returns from the island searching for the White Witch. He is such an honorable man and gave LJG the opportunity to fulfill his promise to kill him. Jamie is so lost without Claire and has many times wanted and tried to die. To me, Sam’s best acting is his face and his eyes.
Thank you for sharing with us your favorite scene. Yes, Claire saw the man she first loved in seeing Frank lieing in there. I’m sad to see Tobias leave but I won’t miss his characters.
Thank you, Theresa! This post has been on my heart all week. I am not Team Frank either but I did think that scene at the end was so touching. Thanks for your sharing your favorite scene with me!
Beth, we have so many parallels it’s just unreal. First, let me say that this has brought me to tears. It’s beautiful, just beautiful. And I’m not a huge LJG fan, either. I do know he is a true gentleman, but he will always be after Jamie in his heart. lol
But this parallel with us is the sister factor. My half-sister is 21 years older than me. She got married when I was three months old, so I never lived with her as a child, but loved her dearly and loved the nieces and nephew she gave us. Once I became an adult, she became a good friend to me. We could talk on the phone for a couple of hours about everything and nothing. She has been there for me at different times in my life.
Just before her husband died three years ago, she had a major stroke. Thankfully she wasn’t paralyzed, and only had a problem walking for a little while. We noticed a bit of memory loss, and repeating herself during conversations. But she was still there. Two years ago, she went bowling for her 69th birthday, and fell. Her hip broke a tiny bit, but she needed surgery. While she was in rehab, the antibiotic caused her to become infected with C. diff. Shelby almost died. Thanksgiving week, she underwent emergency surgery to remove the infected colon and have an illiostomy. It was a long road for her, but she’s recovered—physically. The sepsis took an even further toll on her brain, and threw her into full-blown dementia.
I called her Wednesday to tell her happy birthday. We talked for half an hour about the same things three times. It breaks my heart to hear her, and not remember things that only she would know. She knew our great-grandparents, but no longer remembers anything about them. She knew my Mama longer than I did, but doesn’t recall the little things I want to know. It simply breaks my heart.
Now that I’m bawling my eyes out, I’ll finish with a thank you. I am going to make sure I call my sister once a week. I don’t know how long she’ll be around to call. Lots of love to your family, and I’m praying for y’all.
Oh, Susan! I do love you!!! You’re like my soul sister and I now know that God has brought us together as friends for a reason. I am so very sorry about your sister. I had no idea. The things we keep to ourselves in those locked up compartments of ourselves. My sister hasn’t been able to carry on a conversation for a long time. She mumbled a lot and once in a while would laugh and I loved to hear that laughter so much even though there was no reason for it as far as I could see. You know how Paul tells us that there is nothing that can separate us from the love of God. Well, I don’t think Alzheimer’s (or dementia) can either. I believe that God understood my sister’s mumblings and when she laughed is when she heard Him speaking back to her. Also, the last word she spoke that we were able to make sense of was “Mother”. In her mumblings – even at the last – she would clearly call out “Mother”. My mother passed away December before last and I wonder if my sister didn’t see her those times when she was calling out to her. Thank you for sharing your heart and your story with me, Susan. Now, we are both bawling!!! Love you, girl! Yes, do make that phone call once a week – even if you have to repeat things over and over. You will be glad in the end that you did.
Dear Beth, I’m so sorry about your sister as well as for Susan’s. Your stories brought me to tears.
Regarding Lord John Grey, I came to like him more and more throughout the books. He is a decent man and deserves Jamie’s friendship.
As usual your psychological analysis is right on the money and also beautiful in the comparison with Claire’s feelings and yours. Always a joy to read your posts and looking forward to the next one. 😉
Thank you so much, Anne. You are so very kind and I appreciate your comment. And thank you for reading my blog. I hope my posts make some sense. Sometimes when staring at an empty screen, you wonder where to start. This week’s was pretty easy because of my experience. Thanks again!
Oh Beth, So sorry about your sister. I have learned never put off doing what our conscience tells us to do, I remember a planned visit to see a dear Aunt who was in Hospice and I told myself “just wait til tomorrow”, well she died in the night…
Loved your views on Episode 3. My favorite line was Claire speaking to Frank about Jamie and whether time would have dimmed those memories and she said “That amount of time does not exist”. Very powerful!
I love, love LJG, he is so like Jamie and carries a heavy burden for a man of his time, the LJ books explain so much more about his character and honor.
He is a devoted friend to all the Frasers⚔️
Looking forward to the next 2 episodes, anxious to see Geneva and the woman we live to hate Leoghaire ????
Thank you very your kind words, Nancy! We should never put those kinds of things off! I loved that scene with Claire too – honestly, probably the most important line in the whole episode because it speaks to the depth of her love for Jamie. Thank you for sharing your favorite episode with me!
Oh my Beth, you felt the same as I. As Claire said goodbye to Frank I was reminded of saying goodbye to my husband. Like Claire and Frank, we had a rocky marriage. No cheating ever, and no previous husband from the 18th century. But my husband suffered from PTSD from his time in Vietnam. As he got older it became harder to watch him deal with it.
I, too, never had a chance to say goodbye. And the scene was very reminiscent of Claire’s – a bed in a cold ER room. I couldn’t say goodbye to him there. The final goodbye came in the funeral home just before they closed the casket. I leaned in and kissed him. I told him I loved him and was sorry for anything I had done to hurt him.
And I’ve never told this to anyone.
That was 9 years ago. I learned to walk in the new normal of being a single mom and completing the job of raising our girls we had begun together.
Thank you for posting this. It was very cathartic for me. God’s blessing in you as you walk through this time of grief. May he wrap you in his loving arms and comfort you.
Oh Michele. I am just now reading this as it has been a chaotic week for me. I am so sorry for the things your husband went through and the things you went through with and without him. I pray God’s peace and comfort for you as well, Michele. Thank you for reading and for your comment.