Post by Contributing Author, Susan Jackson
I have to say Episode 304, Of Lost Things, is my favorite so far! It had everything I love about the story–moments of joy, some suspense, a bit of humor, a little disgust, and heart-tugging scenes. Voyager is my number two favorite of the books series so far, so I am thoroughly enjoying this season. Of course, there is so much that happens, it’s hard to get my favorite scenes from the books compressed into a one-hour show, but I think the writer and producers did a fine job of making it all fit in this episode.
I loved the show scenes about Jamie so much that I wanted to hurry through the Claire’s scenes. Having said that, I enjoyed the searching of the paper trail which Roger is helping Claire with–I have combed over old papers, myself, looking for information on my ancestry, so I can relate. When Claire finally finds out where Jamie was in the years after Culloden, that’s a huge moment for her! Oh, and the pearls–probably her most prized material possession which she thought was lost. Caitriona Balfe is flawless as Claire–her mind so deep in finding Jamie, she even brushes off Joe Abernathy when he calls from Boston about one of her patients. Cait conveys as much of Claire’s dilemma without words as she does with them. I love Claire’s expression as it sinks in that she’s found Jamie’s name on the prison records, and her hands wrapped around the pearls, as if she’s holding on for her life.
As much as these moments are big ones for Claire, and enjoying watching Bree and Roger’s relationship develop, this episode for me, was all about Jamie. His stay at Helwater is a long and miserable one–he misses Claire desperately, and the child she bore him, in spite of his having never seen her. He misses Scotland and his family, and on top of it all, he has to “shovel shit” and is looked down upon with suspicion by Lord Melton, John Grey’s brother. He is harassed by that uppity aristocrat, Geneva, getting blackmailed into having (really, really sexy) sex with her, and is drawn into the family drama. Helwater? More like Hell-on-Earth-water.
Choosing a favorite scene wasn’t hard for me. Having watched the episode three times, (yeah, I know only three times?!), my heartstrings are pulled the most during one: Geneva’s (and Jamie’s!) infant son is left motherless with her death, and is in the care of his Aunt Isobel. Isobel and her mother are taking Willie out for a walk in his pram, and they come across Jamie and another stable hand on their way back to the estate. Apparently, it’s about time for his OSHA-mandated break from the stables, so Jamie hops off his horse to speak to Isobel. She apologizes for her harshness towards him the morning of Geneva’s death, and he accepts her apology. But his heart and mind are on that sweet baby. Jamie hears his nickname, Willie, and knows without a doubt it’s the right name for him, having had an older brother named Willie. The lonesome, tough Highlander cannot keep his eyes off wee Willie, and his eyes are filled with emotion as he looks down on him and says, “You’re a braw laddie, Willie. You’re so wee. Dinna fash yourself. I am here.” Have mercy, the tears flowed!
Why is this my favorite scene? I relate to Jamie’s longing for family–his need to be a parent. Like Jamie’s mother Ellen, my mother died unexpectedly when I was eight years old. She was diagnosed with a rare form of lung cancer and lymphoma in early December 1975, and was dead by December 20th. It was the defining moment of my life.
As many motherless daughters know, the missing, the heartache, the longing for Mama never goes away. As I grew older, I was a great babysitter, because my heart couldn’t wait to be a mother. I practiced on my poor charges, but learned invaluable lessons about the basics, and tucked all of those memories away for when the time came. That day arrived on June 13, 1993, when my precious daughter was born. I looked at her beautiful brown hair, her pouty lipstick-red lips, and fell head over heels in love. She was perfect to me, and I finally felt all was right with the world. I would’ve given my right arm to have Mama there with me, telling me I was doing things right, to help me when I came home as I was nursing a baby without a lot of outside support, and to make sure I took care of myself so I could get comfortable in my role as a new mother. But I did it. I made it through those seemingly endless days and nights of nursing, burping, pooping, crying (I ate some sausage once which resulted in giving my baby terrible gas!), crying (my own!), rocking and napping. I felt Mama watching over me, even at times when I felt completely alone, as well as in the years to come when I added three more children to our little brood.
Through these twenty-four years, however, I’ve had a gnawing fear something was going to happen to me. The fear of death is real–not the actual dying, but the fear of not being able to be there for my children. I know it wasn’t my mother’s choice to leave my brother and me, and I can only imagine how she felt when the realization hit her that she didn’t have long to live. As I passed the age of 40 which Mama was when she died, my anxiety eased somewhat. Even when I was faced with traditional treatment-resistant thyroid cancer at the age of 47, those feelings weren’t as strong as they were when my children were younger, when I had so much to tell them, teach them, and songs to sing to them. When I first laid my eyes on my babies, I wanted them to be safe in knowing I was there. “Hush your fussin’. Mama’s got you,” is my Southern way of saying, “Dinna fash yourself. I am here.” I want to be here on this Earth for my children as long as I’m able, to care for them, and share life lessons with them.
After so much heartache, Jamie was finally blessed with a child to pour his love and knowledge into, even though Willie didn’t know who “Mac” truly was. In spite of the conditions at Helwater, Jamie chose to just to be with Willie. Jamie was a laird. He had an estate to help run, and people who depended on him. But his “Da” heart knew that Willie needed him and Jamie needed Willie. Willie grew to love him, and Jamie’s departure from the estate and Willie was a tough one to watch. I can only imagine Jamie’s heartbreak as he rode away from Helwater estate and his precious Willie. I’m thankful I don’t have to make a choice like that, nor do I ever want to. When my time comes, though, I want my children to hear me in their memory, saying, “Hush your fussin’. Mama’s got you.”
What was your favorite scene of Episode 304, Of Lost Things? Is it possible to name just one? Please share your thoughts in the comments and once again, thanks for reading Outlander North Carolina!
Susan Jackson is a mother of four who lives in coastal North Carolina, and is an avid Outlander fan. Besides reading, she loves cooking and baking, and music. She is a thyroid cancer survivor and has worked in education most of her life. She hopes to one day blog about her thyroid cancer journey. She is a contributing author for Outlander North Carolina and has previously written about the infamous Stede Bonnet in Will The Real Stephen Bonnet Please Stand Up?
Credit for All Episode 304 Photos: STARZHave you joined our Facebook Group yet? No? Well, what are you waiting for? Click here to sign up! North Carolina residency is not required!