guest post by Nancy Roach, aka “The White Sow“
One of the things we love most about Diana Gabaldon’s writing is her ability to create the most colorful, humorous characters and bring them to life. Although we love the actors who portray these roles on the TV series, we don’t always get the full impact of the images Diana’s written words inspire. Such is the case of one John Quincy Myers, rustic mountain man and comic relief.
We first encounter John Quincy Myers in Wilmington, NC where Claire, Fergus, young Ian, and Rollo await the return of Jamie from his search for a gemstone buyer. Imagine Claire’s shock as this spindly, gaunt, buckskin-clad giant approaches her in the streets of Wilmington. His bushy black beard overtakes his face and his hair hangs in “loose, snaky black locks.” Taller than Jamie, he sports a “disreputable slouch hat” with a ragged turkey feather. When he squats down, “his knee joints pop like rifle shots.” One can only imagine the stench that must have accompanied this hazel-eyed behemoth with the “thin layer of greasy brown dirt” that covered everything. (Ah, if only there were a scratch and sniff version of Outlander.) Claire offers him her hand, but surprisingly he lifts it to his nose, sniffs it, then; breaks into a wide grin that is “nonetheless charming for missing half its teeth.”
After learning Claire is a “yarb woman,” Myers unabashedly asks her opinion of his mysterious malady, a “great big swelling [that] come up just along behind of my balls.” He suddenly starts to remove his pants to show Claire! Fortunately, Jamie arrives in the nick of time. Now the “two enormous specimens of mankind size each other up,” according to Fergus, “like two dogs… Next thing you know, they will be smelling each other’s backside.”
Myers persists in relaying his tale of the “Big purple thing, almost as big as one o’ my balls. You don’t think it might could be as I’ve decided sudden-like to grow an extry, do you?” Claire fights to keep from laughing. She explains this swelling must be an inguinal hernia that she couldn’t surgically repair unless Myers is asleep or unconscious. Later, Jamie gives Claire one of his famous quips, “What is it [Sassenach] that makes every man ye meet want to take off his breeks within five minutes of meetin’ ye?”
Now we fast forward to Aunt Jocasta’s formal dinner party at River Run where an inebriated John Quincy Myers (complete with black eye and ripped shirt), suddenly staggers in the doorway insisting he is now ready for Claire to operate on his offending bulge. To which Duncan opines, “I did try to stop him, Mac Dubh.” Claire protests that alcohol is like poison to the body and could result in Myer’s death if she operates. Someone in the room comments, “No great loss.” Phillip Wylie interjects, “Shame to waste so much brandy. We’ve heard a great deal of your skill, Mistress Fraser. Now’s your chance of proving yourself among witnesses!” Claire finally relents, and Myers’ comatose body is moved to the salon. “Relieved of his nether garb, Myers lay tastefully displayed on the mahogany table, boneless as a roasted pheasant, and nearly as ornamental.” (What an image these words paint!) What follows is an unusual after dinner entertainment; let’s call it “the Claire Surgical Show,” as she diligently works to repair the inguinal hernia amidst a sea of curious onlookers. These dinner guests have no qualms about commenting during the procedure with such remarks as, “Expensive way to kill lice”, and “Jesus, Lord, it’s true—he’s got three balls!” I wonder how this whole scenario would have played out on the big screen, had the writers and producers the luxury of additional episodes in Season 4.
There are more humorous antics of John Quincy Meyers to delight the reader. If you haven’t read about him in a while, you might want to review his part in Drums of Autumn to get the full effect of his character. I have no complaints about the actor chosen to portray Myers on the screen, nor his performance. He did manage to add some humor to an otherwise serious season. However, I urge those who haven’t read the books to take a good look at his character in Drums of Autumn.
Pictures are courtesy and copyright of my Twitter friend, Susan Vaughan. Susan has amassed a wealth of Barbies, Kens, small dolls, and miniatures over the years. She uses them to recreate scenes from the television series.
Quotes credited to Diana Gabaldon and her book Drums of Autumn
We love JQM, Nancy–thanks for reminding us how funny hernia surgery can be ! (Only in Outlander, right?!)